Valentine's Day Massacre

I know, I know. You're probably saying, "hey Uncle B, why post a diatribe about Valentine's Day 4 days after the fact?" Never you fucking mind that's why. The same reason why I'm going to post my Hanukkah blog in July. Look, if you're in a relationship and happy and had a wonderful VD (hehe) that's fine. I'm happy for you and the person who made the cut of the least annoying to spend the rest of your shitty life with. But enough is enough. I don't want to get off on a rant here but I'm about as fed up with other people and their mediocre relationships as the next guy. I fully understand the need to constantly reaffirm your affection for your partner by telling them (and yourself) that you care for them over and over again. Not like you're trying to convince yourself you didn't make a mistake right? But enough with the public displays and announcements of said affection. You are married. You presumably share a bed. I assume you actually use your mouths to communicate via dialect on a daily basis. So tell me again why you have to post what should be a private term of endearment on a public social media wall so everyone can see it? You know what that sounds like to me? Either a desperate attempt to get your friends and family's approval for your life-changing mistake OR a cry for help because you know a private message of love ain't quite enough for the beast you decided to share the tax breaks with. I'm not saying go social media dark when it comes to major announcements, i.e: marriage, baby, death, but if you're just posting to say hello, do all of us normals a favor and just say it to his/her face as you mumble sadly into your cheerios before cleaning the garage for the 7th time this month because that's the only solace in a home full of constant noise and impending doom. Oh and while we are at it, enough with the fucking workout posts too. We get it, you joined a Cross-Fit cult. You now pay someone to do manual labor while they scream at you. It's like a Slavery Fantasy Camp. So take your private (public) messages of love, your posts about how many times you flipped a tractor tire and your pictures of last night's meatloaf and keep 'em to yourselves. Or maybe I'm just lonely. Bit I digress...