Vaginal Hubris

So as I browse the plethora of double X chromosomal friends that are currently on my social media radar, I can't help but think of a certain term that was brought to my attention a few years ago: Vaginal Hubris. Look, I like girls... wait, let me rephrase that... I like women.  Probably as much or as more than the next guy. Ol' UB tends to fall ass over elbows quite easily for a pretty face and a willingness to attend a baseball game but holy shit ladies, enough is enough. Let me define Vaginal Hubris. Actually, let me define hubris first. then I think you can connect the proverbial dots. Hubris is defined as "excessive pride or self-confidence". Hubris can be a good thing. Shit, hubris can be something that separates you or gets you out of a tough situation. But when hubris is connected or paired with something that may not need the aforementioned confidence, then we have a problem. Look, I don't want to get off on a rant here but holy shit keep it in your pants, girls! OK, I get it. You were hurt. Maybe hurt more than you deserved and I know that climbing a metaphorical mountain and screaming "I Wont Back Down" from the top is part of the rebuilding process but what I don't need to hear is how that now you're single, ol' ex-boyfriend Dick McSmallcock won't get that sweet apple pie anymore. I'm all for female empowerment, hell we let you vote right? But let's just pump the brakes (insert female driving joke here). I know that you want to let the one that got away know what sweet tenderness he is missing by posting a picture of a cherry pie on Facebook then tagging it with "super tight, all night #BetterThanYou" but is that really what you want out on the internet? I'm sure your mom/grandma/dad is just tickled that you are proclaiming to the virtual world that your former lover had it, then lost it and will never get that sweet thistle pie anymore. And while we are at it, how come all my references - and all in history - of vaginas are that of pie? Can we not think of something else to compare what may be the best thing invented other than baseball to? Or maybe I'm just lonely and hoping to White Knight some shit online... but I digress.