Oh God, You Devil!

​I saw what might have been the best superhero movie I have ever seen last night. Here’s a quick recap: A boy, raised by a family that was not his, lived a life that was not his original intent.  He finds out later in life that his entire prior existence has been a lie and that now and only now he must face his true purpose: helping people to fight off current and would be evil oppressors. Against all odds he survives countless attacks and plots to destroy him. Only after finally coming to terms with his ultimate power does he rise up in a final battle to destroy his sworn enemy, leading his people to safety. Ironman? Superman? Batman? Um no. This was Moses. Holy ancient comic book stories, Batman. Look, I don’t want to get off on a rant here but Jesus Christ, how can one possibly hear that and countless other biblical stories and perceive them as nothing more than what they are: movie scripts before we had movies. Oh and before you nail me to that cross and leave my non-spiritual ass to die in the desert, let me say I enjoyed the HELL out of that movie and enjoy the shit out of most if not all the stories from and/or inspired by the Bible. But I get that that’s what they are… stories! Whether there is a man in the sky pulling strings, giving babies cancer, making quarterbacks defeat other quarterbacks, sending plagues, flooding towns, causing famine, giving babies cancer (I used that one already?) and other such godly intentions – I have no fucking clue. But if you honestly believe that Noah filled a boat with 2 of every 5 million known species of animal or if ol’ “Let My People Go” Moses parted a sea on command or if dinosaurs actually were saddled up and ridden by humans, you sir are a fucking moron. Believe what you want, I don’t care. Believe in god(s), I don’t care. Just don’t tell me that these stories (really good stories) are nothing more than what they are: moralistic and inspirational tales made up by humans for humans. Or maybe I’m just mad that God fucked me again last week and didn’t answer my prayers to win the lottery. What a dick. But I digress…