not-so-Friendly Skies

Fly Asian Airlines… We promise to only lose 1 plane per year. Holy episode of Lost, Batman! Are you fucking kidding me? Another plane goes missing in the vast region of Asia? I don’t want to get off on a rant here but maybe put your vacation plans on hold for a few decades. I’m talking to you, EVERYONE in Asia. Look, I hate to go Superman on everyone but yes, flying in an airplane is still statistically the safest form of travel. That being said, to see 3 fucking planes go down within a year, all sharing regional and corporate attributes, is about 3 too many if you ask me. I’m no airplane expert but I’d hold off on booking my vacation to the Philippines or Thailand or Malaysia or anywhere else in the Bermuda Triangle 2.0. As much as I would love to be stranded on a deserted island with only Evangeline Lily, polar bears and smoke monsters to keep me company, I will stay away from purchasing a ticket to the only airline/region that has to change their “_ Days Without a Workplace Accident/Missing Plane” sign every 6 months. And I’ll stay away from flying over any body of water as well. You realize there are monsters in the ocean? Real-life, carnivorous, scary ass, large and in charge fucking monsters are just chillin’, waiting for my savory ass to be dropped into the drink Tom Hanks style. So keep your Asian vacations and your tropical getaways to yourself. I’ll drive to the fucking Grand Canyon. There’s no danger there. Wait, I am afraid of heights as well as monsters. Damn. But I digress…