The crack of the bat. The smell of freshly cut grass. The taste of overpriced, flat, room temperature beer. Either I'm having a stroke or it's baseball season. I don't want to get off on a rant here but Holy Thank The Christ I Don't Have To Deal With The Other Shite Sports, Batman. Look, nothing against footie-footie-football or basketball or Canadian Figure Skating (hockey) but when it comes to the best fucking sport on the planet, baseball takes 1st, 2nd and 3rd. I get it, it's a lot of fun to get smashed in your "man-cave" (ugh) and watch 13 straight hours of football while trying super hard not to punch your wife because your boy-crush of a QB threw an interception or the 24 year old's jersey you're wearing fumbled for the first time in months and now you're burning your autographed copy of his hunky calendar because you're life is over and you can't make it into work for 3 days. Most people can't throw a football 5 yards yet when Peyton Brady III has a completion percentage of under 70% you send your kid to bed without dinner. Football, basketball and the like are sports for neanderthals. It doesn't take any brain cells to watch/follow. Baseball is a sport for intellectuals. It's a poet's sport. The fucking game doesn't have a clock for the love of Pete! It's a chess match. A battle of wits. Double switches and the sacrifice bunt. Lefty vs. righty pitching duels. It flows like wine. All the sports dump like a shitty high school keg of beer. Baseball is the only sport where the defense has the ball. It defies logic. All the parks dimensions are different. The measurements of the baselines seem arbitrary yet so perfect. 90 feet? Why not 100? Why? Because 90 is perfect. The pitcher's mound is 60'6" away from the plate. Why the extra 6"? Because everyone needs an extra 6". Am I right ladies and germs? So keep your man cave and your alcoholism/domestic turbulence whilst watching football like a caveman. I'll be chilling' like Walt Whitman whilst watching the great American pastime. Or maybe baseball is boring as shit and I actually am having a stroke. But I digress...