And I thought Bradley Cooper would play ME in a movie. Look, the absolute last thing I am going to do is disparage any service member who valiantly gives years of his/her life and/or their actual life to protect this country from enemies in foreign countries. That being said, hero or not, when certain facts are called into question and it starts to seem that a lot of what a certain historical sniper has said and done are complete bullshit, it’s time to call a spade a spade. Look I don’t want to get off on a rant here but I’m pretty sure the worst thing you can do is lie about your achievements especially of those involve disparaging other people, injuring other people and worse yet - killing other people. I have no doubt that this dude was deployed and killed people (the veracity of his actions and the morality of those actions are fodder for another post) but when you get pumped up to the point of celebrity after the fact and then start blatantly making up stories – that’s when the public should take notice. This guy claimed – among other things – to have been hired by the US Government to sit atop the New Orleans Superdome during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to pick off looters and other questionable folk with his sniper rifle. Look I trust the government about as far as I can throw it but I seriously doubt that happened. I didn’t need or expect otherwise that the government denied it but thanks for obligatory statement anyway. American Sniper also claimed that during a carjacking in Dallas, he not only fended off his would be thieves; he drew down and shot both in the chest. Not too far-fetched right? I mean a military trained badass could’ve done that. It was the aftermath that has everyone speculating. After waiting for the police to arrive, A.S. calmly gives him a business card with the number for his contact in the C.I.A. who then tells the responding officers to sweep this little incident under the table and let Rambo go. No police report was ever filed. No gas station within the specified area has any record of any such occurrence. No missing persons report filed for the 2 alleged carjackers. Look, it is true he worked for the C.I.A., so if I was in trouble and pulling out a “get out of jail” C.I.A. card would set me free, I’d do it. It’s just a long list of bullshit that made it to this guys “non-fiction” book. The proverbial match that got this fire going was his account of knocking out former Governor of Minnesota and current whack job Jesse Ventura while they were both at a Seal bar mourning the death of a current member. A defamation lawsuit was filed – AND WON – by Ventura years after the incident. Nobody remembers this happening. This is just another bullshit story by a guy who had been propped up as an American hero. It’s hard to blame him really. To be used, some would say, as a puppet for the propaganda for an unjust and illegal war, is a tough act to be a part of. You get told you can do no wrong and to embellish a little to sell some books, so you go down a path of no return and the next thing you know, you’re neck-deep in lies you can’t get out from underneath. So it's not too far-fetched to call into question his actions while in service, right? I’m not saying the easiest way for a C.I.A. prop job to end would be for said puppet to be eliminated but… it just makes you think. Or I could be totally wrong and am reading way too much into it. But I digress…
In an ultimate show of cowardice, disrespect, ignorance, savagery and about 47,000 other adjectives, Muslim extremists--fuck that--TERRORISTS forced their way into a satirical newspaper office, killing 12 employees and police, before skidaddling away like a bunch of bitches. Look, I don't want to get off on a rant here but holy overreaction Batman. I am not going to be as ignorant as some in the mainstream media who lump these fucknuts in one broad stroke in with the other billions of Muslims who actually are just like everyone else in the world--trying to live their fucking lives and make it through the day. But I will address the overlying problem of religious extremism. ANY religious extremism. More people have been fucking slaughtered at the hands of religion than anything short of malaria. I don't give 2 shits what pious, high-in-the-sky, made-up, invisible deity you follow. As long as you follow him without busting into my life and causing me and the ones I love and care for the ultimate pain and suffering. Shit, I am aware of the good lot of religion does. Charity, um... let's see, and um, did I say charity? There's um, marriage? No, that sucks too. Sending your kids to church under the watchful eye of Father Flannigan? No, that definitely isn't good. OK, so maybe religion just sucks all the way around. But if you are so far up your god's ass that you have to shoot someone for drawing a cartoon of said god, than you have absolutely no use on this planet. Goodbye! Thanks for playing, but we just don't see you getting into this game soon. Might as well go home. So support your local press, support your local cartoonist, support free speech and the idea of speech without persecution or death (what a novel concept!), but above all support the idea of a planet where shit like this doesn't get reported because it doesn't happen at all. God bless you all. But I digress...
Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, coach. Those who can’t do shit, become NFL referees. Holy pick up your dirty, yellow laundry Batman. I’m not saying all NFL officials are complete shite but… you know what, all NFL officials are complete shite. In fact, all officials, referees, umpires everywhere are fucking clueless, blind shitbirds who can only get on the field by making sure everyone else plays by their rules. I don’t want to get off on a rant here but me thinks it’s time to go full fucking iRobot. I think some A.I., Johnny-5 motherfucker can make better calls than these senior citizens. I’m tired of trying to watch any and all sport live or in person and having to deal with these fucking whistleblowers stop the clock to watch an instant replay of a call that 99.9% of the mouth-breathers that have their steady-date’s football jersey on can make in their sleep. You know what the rest of the fucking public calls whistleblowers? Tattle-tales. We get it, we need someone to make sure little miss quarterback doesn’t hurt his weggy-poo. But that doesn’t mean I have to endure a holding call that happened 40 yards away from the play negate the game-winning score. Great job zebras, you got your moment of fame. You’re doing a great job umpires, everyone is watching you now. You know in the history of live sporting events, I don’t think anyone has ever bought a ticket to watch the officials make a call - correct or incorrect. You know what, I take that back. I’m sure their mommies have come to cheer on Ricky Referee as he tries to be as invisible as possible. But then again, where would sports be without these incredibly important facets of the game? Maybe they aren’t as bad as I think. But I digress…